The Elf and His Prince
by Frozen-Vegetable
Summary: Cloud is mysteriously transported to the Kokiri Forest. With him and his faerie Sephiroth will he ever find true love and stop angsting over EVERYTHING? Elf Cloud x Prince Squall.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I OWN everyone. That is my wish.

Link left the Deku tree with an astonished look on his face. Navi just floated happily, humming, despite her master's death. Link looked around and then looked in front of him where his best friend Cloud stood. He smiled and waved not opening his mouth to say anything, for he could not speak.

Nobody really knew anything about Cloud. All of a sudden he was just there, like in those Terminator movies where people bolted out of lightning. Cloud did however have a faerie by the name of Sephiroth the one winged faerie. Sephiroth had been known to plot against Cloud in his death. You could always see an angry glow in the grey faerie. Sephiroth also planned to convert everyone in Kokiri Forest to be a Jenova's Witness.

Cloud looked at Link, "Way to go. You killed our protector."

Link dropped his arm and then had tears in his eyes. His mouth was open but no sound came out. Navi screamed with laughter falling to the ground her wings twitching; "What a LOSER!" Link burst into tears running back to the village. Cloud sighed and grabbed Sephiroth by his one wing ignoring the little faerie's bites.

When they came into sight of the small village groups of small Kokiri were there glaring at Link. Cloud came in from behind, no emotion on his face, Sephiroth looking down at them all thinking of all the conversions just waiting to be made.

Milo stood in the front his arms stretched out in a blocking fashion, "I HATE YOU GET OUT OF OUR HOME!" Saria joined Milo. It seemed all her affections for Link were gone, "You killed our protector Link, you really should leave." She said in a harsh tone. Link gasped, his cheeks covered in tears. Navi hid under his hat to muffle her laughing. Cloud pushed Link forward, "Get a move on. The Deku tree gave you a quest, now go do it!" Through all this Sephiroth was screaming at a blond child who sat down near a tree's roots crying. He was going to get his army one way or another.

Though nobody noticed because they left all the exit's of their home unguarded. Gannondorf was wall crawling his way out giving creepy evil laughs. The Deku tree's spirit groaned wondering why he ever trusted Link with such a heavy task.

Cloud grabbed the sobbing Link by the ear and pulled him out of the village, "Don't be such a cry baby." He said to the mute. Link sobbed holding his hat, squishing Navi who screamed "LISTEN! LISTEN! DIEING FAERIE HERE!!" Sephiroth just laughed at the pitiful creature, "Soon you will be the first to die." And with that.

The four started on their journey to Hyrule Castle to visit Princess Zelda and Prince Squall.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer – It is my wish to own all of these characters.

Cloud dropped Link onto the ground. Link had been crying for a couple of hours strait after Saria threw an ocarina at him before he left. Cloud sighed, "Shut up you big baby." Link looked up his eyes shining with tears as he hugged his knees. Link didn't understand what was going on, he thought it was the right thing to destroy the spider monkey inside the Deku tree. Now everyone hated him.

Navi at this time was sleeping Link's hat. She was throttled by Link for so long she passed out. The grey unusual faerie – Sephiroth – looked around. They had just gotten off a bridge and it was already getting late . The one winged faerie began to think. The two elves and faeries had never gone out of Kokiri Village for they heard evil tales of Red VII's running around madly eating everything they could get. Sephiroth contemplated; with the dog's power he could get the church of Jenova started. Sephiroth smirked and silently went into Cloud's spikey hair. For this he needed rest.

Cloud had been sitting down against the rocky wall that surrounded them. The moon lit sky shining. He stared at it sadly. Cloud couldn't remember much of his life but he used to have a pink faerie by the name of Aerith. Aerith had been so kind, and gentle. She always listened to Cloud and gave him advice; actual advice. It wasn't the kind Navi gave Link on directions. Cloud smiled at the memories, he was in love with her for some odd reason. A Kokori, and a faerie. But after a while in Kokiri village a grey faerie appeared. Sephiroth killed Aerith taking her place to be Cloud's faerie. Cloud hugged his knees, he couldn't figure out why he killed Aerith but didn't dare question the strange one winged faerie.

"DON'T BE SUCH AN EMO!"

Cloud jumped up startled at the screech. He looked up to see a brown owl with a mustache perched on a piece of wood. He looked closer to see that the owl's head was upside down. The owl gave a hoot, a snapping noise coming from its neck as it twisted it's head into normal position.

The owl flapped his wings, "Now son." It pointed at Link who was awoken with a startle clutching his hat. Link's mouth was open in fear, as he took the legendary Kokiri sword in his hands, but his hands were shaking so bad the sword fell to the ground. Cloud shook his head not paying attention. He couldn't believe he was best friends with this idiot.

The owl gave a hoot twisting it's head several times as if having a seizure, "Now listen here…" and all of a sudden it had a high pitched squeaky horrible melody:

"Dont worry about a thing,  
cause every little thing gonna be all right.  
Singin: dont worry about a thing,  
cause every little thing gonna be all right!

Rise up this mornin,  
Smiled with the risin sun,  
Three little birds  
Pitch by my doorstep  
Singin sweet songs  
Of melodies pure and tr-"

All of a sudden the owl fell from the branch twitching. Where the owl stood was a silvery like glow. It was Sephiroth scowling, putting away a long twig like sword.

"WHAT A BITCH" Cloud said in deep voice. He climbed the rock wall grabbing Sephiroth in his fist, "YOU DON'T GO AROUND KILLING OWLS!" he screamed. He removed his fist showing a dizzy Sephiroth and then started to slap Sephiroth, "WHAT. IS. WITH. YOU. AND. YOUR. EVIL. SOUL!?!?!" Cloud demanded. Sephiroth seemed to regain his energy and was by Cloud's nose, "But Cloud. I am you."

Down below Link stared shaking his head. This was going to be a long journey.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer – I do not own any of these characters no matter how much I dream and wish. I give credit for TobiasJWraithwall for helping in some areas and Lady Locust to …well if I say it now it will spoil everything -_- but she is also my help.

BETA- Katavi ^^ Because she is the only one that knows English!!

Link and Cloud came across a rickety bridge leading to a large castle. Link followed Navi with his eyes until he saw a large sign, and pulled on Cloud's sleeve, pointing at it. Cloud, trying to hide his irritation, looked over at the sign. It was torn up and wooden, reading 'The Lon Lon Castle,' with a poorly drawn cow on the side.

Sephiroth floated over, looking at the sign also, "What the hell is that supposed to be!?" he asked giving a small laugh. Link turned his attention to the rest of the castle; it was covered in hay, and consisted with dirt, cows, crappy grass, puddles of milk, cow poo, mud, and an occasional dead body.

"Gross!" Navi exclaimed; the faerie covering her nose. Sephiroth gave a mocking laugh. Cloud looked around, "I don't see an-" he was soon interrupted as Navi flew around mad as ever.

"HEY! LOOK! ISN'T THAT GANNONDORF OVER THERE?!" she shouted. Link gasped, took off his green hat, and tackled Navi. He managed capture the blue abomination within it. A monstrosity,. A shit-cake. A plague upon the world. Such a vile, hideous, beast that is so repulsive to the ears, that her 'hey listen' was worse than losing the game!

Plus, most of Kokiri village thought that Navi needed to drink a nice, tall glass of shut the fuck up

Cloud shook his head in disbelief, and looked where Navi indicated. Sure enough, Gannondorf was there, his back facing the Kokiri travelers, giving them the advantage… Cloud looked over at Link, his mouth open to tell him something, but closed it staring at this friend. Link had his hand closed around his hat, which was now wrapped in a tight ball. Navi's muffled screams came from within the hat-rag,

"LEMME OUT LINK!!! I PROMISE I WON'T EVER GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS EVER AGAIN!!" Link didn't bother listening to his prey. His mouth was starting to foam slightly as he hyperventilated. He had enough of Navi. Link couldn't take it anymore! The sleepless nights, the wrong directions, and getting lost in his own home. Navi was taking away the remainder of his youth.

Sephiroth smirked, pulling his sword out slowly. Since the dispatch of the owl, he ditched his twig-like sword from the Kokiri Village and replaced it with a VERY LARGE sharp object. It was in fact a hunting knife found in a skull. He started float near menacingly towards Navi, still located in Link's hat. You could almost hear the orchestra playing a very intimidating theme song when Cloud groaned and grabbed the grey fearie's wing. Sephiroth began to thrash around, almost slicing Clouds hand off the wrist, giving him a small cut.

"WhatinthenameofJenovaswitnessandrightbreastofmotherareyoudoingyoustupidchocobodoyouknowwhoIam!?IamthesexiestcharactertodropoutofthisdamnseriesYouemptyeheadedchocobyoupileoffailylamesause--"

"That's not even a word…" Cloud interrupted

"IDON'TGIVEASHIT!"

Cloud just shook his head once again.

"Oh just shut up. You aren't helping the situation." He put Sephiroth in his bag that could apparently hold so many items, (but stopped at the capacity of 9,999 for some reason). Sephiroth tried ripping his newly found sword through the bag, but it didn't go through. Cloud grabbed Link's ear, causing Link to drop Navi.

Link glared at Cloud. "What in the name of Naked Mohawk Baby Carrot Jockeys are you doing?!"

Cloud just glared back with a raptor gaze, "I'd say the same thing to you Mr. Hero!" he pointed at Gannondorf's back, "The enemy is here!" The second part of Clouds words however, fell on deaf ears- Link had now turned his attention to Gannondorf.

This was his chance. If he could land just one blow on Gannondorf, victory would be his! Link closed his eyes happily, daydreaming. Saria would love him again, and so would the princess whom he still had to meet... Link would be welcome in the village again! And maybe even rewarded by Zelda! The glory would be all his. Hyrule would want him as KING! He would clean up this filthy Lon Lon Castle...

AND POWER WOULD BE HIS TO TAKE!

Link's hand closed around the hilt of the Kokiri sword. This was the only chance he would probably get. Gannondorf WOULD fall to his feet. Cloud looked at Link after a few minutes into speaking.

"Hey? Did you even hear me!? So what, are you going deaf now?" he asked frustrated. Link ignored his (only) friend, tiptoeing to Gannondorf; his sword raised for action. Cloud shook his head in disbelief as Navi giggled.

"Retard."

Gannondorf blinked turning around. He looked at the poised Link who stood with a fear which ran through him as if he was dumped into ice cold revenge. The two just stood there, it was like one of those epic ghost town scenes from a western flick. Cloud narrowed his eyes at the nicknamed "King of Evil," his had slowly going to the hilt of his own sword. After a few awkward standing moments, Gannondorf had a smile filling his whole face. It could kill butterflies. He took Link into a bear hug.

"WELCOME YOUNG KOKIRI FRIENDS TO THE LON LON CASTLE!" Gannondorf's voice boomed. Link's sword fell in disbelief when the thief let him go. Cloud glared.

"What are you trying to pull here Gann-" but was interrupted when Gannondorf raised his hand. He smiled.

"I am not 'pulling' anything of the sort child! Why I am only here..because of these." With that he walked over to a long table that supported several boxes. Gannondorf drove his fingernail through the tap slicing it open fastly. Link gulped at the scratching sound. After a couple of moments Gannondorf walked back over holding a box of Thin Mints, "Why..I am only here to sell Girl Scout cookies!" he cried happily. Gannondorf's face was bright and sunshine like. "Wouldn't children like yourselves like some?" he asked politely; you could almost see shine in his eyes.

Link, completely forgetting about the mission, smiled and reached up, muttering something. Cloud glared, but translated what his friend was mumbling.

"Link wants to know if he can have a box." he grumbled

Gannondorf smiled, "Of course you can! Have as many as you like!" he handed a box to Link. Link turned around, faced Cloud, and raised his arms in the air. The box was in a semi floating fashion, and once again it seemed like an instrument was playing dramatic background music. Cloud glared.

"Oh shut the hell up Link!" he yelled, whacking Link's head, and causing the box to fall and the glowing light to disappear. Link frowned, rubbing the back of his head.

"Why do you have to do that every time you find an item?" Navi whispered angrily into her new master's ear, "You are worse then a-" Link frowned and tears started up in his eyes. Cloud glared at Navi.

"Oh like you are better!?" he scoffed. Navi glared, her blue glow deepening.

"SHUT UP!"

Cloud glared and grabbed his sword but felt it yank away. Cloud glared up at Gannondorf, "What the hell!?" he exclaimed grabbing his sword back, "You don't just go around taking other peoples stuff!"

Gannondorf frowned, "Young peaceful Kokiri like yourselves shouldn't be fighting. Maybe you should go back home to your peaceful forest?" he suggested. Link mumbled again, and this time Navi translated.

"Link says that the whole reason why there isn't peace is because of you, Gann-"

All of a sudden a roaring sound came splitting from the skies. Link looked up to see the sunny sky gone, replaced with dark murky clouds, leaving barely any rays of light left. Rain slowly drizzled down, and far beyond the Lon Lon Castle walls was the sound of faint screaming. Cloud took Link's shoulder, backing them both away slowly as roaring and faint flapping came closer. Link buried his head into Cloud's shoulder, sobbing. Cloud rolled his eyes; even if it did seem like a bad situation, why couldn't Link just keep it together?! Gannondorf was the only one who didn't seem to move.

Navi gasped. "Oh no! It's…it's…" there was a pause, as it tightly wound itself in the air.

"WELL?! SPIT IT OUT NAVI!" Cloud shouted at the blue demon.

"IT'S FERNADORA!" Navi sobbed zooming in under Link's hat. Link looked confused, shaking like a leaf, but he glanced at Cloud, wondering who Fernadora was. But it was soon revealed to be a-

"DRAGON!"


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimers: I do not own any character within this story. I also do not own England if you were just wondering.

Credits for Fernadora: This character belongs to Lady Locust. This will probably be the only story she will appear in ._.

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There was a blast of confetti as Fernadora swooped down into the Lon Lon Castle. Cloud blinked eyeing the confetti; it seemed to come out of no where. The two Kokiri and their companions stared; the setting seemed so intimidating that they could nearly breathe in the confetti….unknown to them that it was made out of deadly substances. Link reached up to the confetti planning on eating it, his eyes were shining with bliss. The thoughts of the deadly Fernadora were gone…everything. Just the soft smooth touch of paper..Navi gasped and was about to say something but was swiftly interrupted by a strong voice…

"Aw, haell nah, child! You spit dat confetti shit out right now, boi! That shit a srs deadly toxin for ya'll. Go wash dat crack out with some of Mama Fernadora's home-made Grape Kool-aid, babay."

The group of travelers (excluding Sephiroth) stared at Fernadora in complete shock. The dragon stood before them with a large jug of purple liquid, sparkling as funk music played in the background. Link staggered back in fear almost feeling like he would wet his pants. He looked over at Cloud with shining eyes begging for Cloud to translate. Cloud glared but with a sigh gave into his friend. How else would Link get by in life?

"Link says that he didn't eat any of your…confetti.."

"Dat's right, silly cracka child! Ain't none o' dat confetti goin' down yo throats! BLACK PANTHA PRIDE, BABEH!"

Cloud and Link staggered back as Fernadora made jesters as she spoke. Sephiroth stood his ground looking at the sparkling dragon with no emotion. "Why the hell are you talking like that?" he asked. He didn't understand this creature, and quite frankly, it was creeping him out. A flash crossed the dark faeries mind; along with the Red XII's, this "Fernadora" could aid him….Sephiroth had a wide grin. JENOVA AND HE WOULD RULE THE------

"DON'T YOU BE CUSSIN' AT ME, LITTLE BOI. I CUT YO THROATS. I'M A FUCKIN' DRAGON, BITCH."

All thoughts of the dragon's aid were left behind now. Sephiroth pulled out his hunting knife dramatically, "You don't tell me what to do, heathen. One of these days, Jenova will come down from the cosmos and kill you a slow and painful death which every planet deserves for murdering her." He said coolly.

"Bitch, you be trippin' BALLS. I ain't no motha cracka trip saint, bitch negroe fiya! I CUT YO UP."

Before Sephiroth could react any more, Cloud grabbed Link's rag-a-muffin hat and captured the grey abomination. He looked up at Fernadora, "What is it that you want exactly?" he asked the fired up dragon. Link nodded vigorously.

"I want sum o' ya'lls gingerale cookies! Bitches over at da bar sayin' dey's goooood shitdawgniggaboi!"

Cloud raised an eyebrow, "I don't think they---"

"Here you go!" a bubbly cheery voice called. Cloud and Link looked over to see Gannondorf arose from all of this chaos. The forgotten man whom Link thought he was supposed to destroy, but was tangled up in cookie crumbling death confetti madness. Cloud shook his head, "Now I have seen it all." He muttered under his breath. Gannondorf skipped over to the small group holding several boxes of Gingerale Cookies, "These just came in a few days ago…an experimental formula." He held up the girl scout box, "I am Gannondorf. And you must be?" he said in strange politeness that made the Kokiri travelers stagger back.

"IS DAT SUM O' DEM GINGERALE COOKIES?! AW HAELL YES, BOI. Hand 'em ovah to Mama Fernadora, now!"

Unknown to the group, Gannondorf's eye twitched as he handed the box to the dragon with a sparkly personality. Cloud sighed, this wasn't going anywhere. Fernadora didn't seem to have any needs of being at the Lon Lon Castle except for the…whatever cookies. He tugged Links arm, "Come on. We have to go complete the Triforce remember? Your whole 'save Hyrule' mission?" Link gasped and pulled out his Kokiri sword with dramatic music emphasizing the 'yes' in his expression. Cloud rolled his eyes and started to drag Link with him before Gannondorf and Fernadora could realize…

"Mi caballo es rosa en el queso casa! MUCHOS GRACIAS!" Fernadora called. She circled Link and Cloud, trapping them in a ring made out of her body. She held a wide smile. Link gasped falling to the ground. Cloud looked down at Link reading his expression, "We didn't land in the fucking Mexico you idiot!" slapping him against the head. Link began to cry, while Sephiroth laughed. Navi swirled into the air, "Hey it isn't Link's fault! He is just mentally challenged!" she said, her lip posied in a pouting fashion. Sephiroth was all of a sudden in her face, "Oh PLEASE! Like a little whore yourself didn't make fun of him of any sort yet!" Navi went into a small pink shade and flew away back under Link's hat.

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Editors Note #2: Hehe ^_^ I hope you enjoyed this chapter and Fernadora. I am not creative when it comes to the way Fernadora speaks, so once again credit's to Lady Locust for helping me (All dialogue for Fern goes to her)!!! Also, please tell people who might enjoy this fic!!

Sorry it took so long for this chapter, and that it is so short =/ Never had the time to upload it. Right now Elf is going under hiatus while my other hiatus fanfiction is opening – Switch of Hope : A Zemyx story – and Blood and Glass is still in the works. I would love it if you all took a look =)

**I am now accepting fanfiction requests.**

I decided to open up a "shop" so to speak \(^o^)/ I was looking over my watchers and review, and decided this. Sadly though, I don't think I will get any requests ^_^''' but it's worth a shot.

Slot's open:

-5 chapters

-One shots

Maybe later I will open full stories like **Blood and Glass : A Wonderland Story.**

Bye for now!


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